Archives For Guilt

Foreword

One thing I have learned is that for the most part, people express the same idea but they express it in many different ways and with many different words. It is the details in the expression, the words, and combination of words used, that give a story its colour, its texture, and brings it–and its lessons–to life.

We are unique combinations of our beliefs, values and life experiences. Differences notwithstanding, we, and our experiences, are important. Therefore, there is value in compiling and sharing these stories and the multitude of ways in which ideas are expressed. Combined, these stories weave a wonderful tapestry that exemplifies just how rich and beautiful life can be.

And who knows? An inadvertent remark or detail in the retelling of a story can stand to attention and have an impact in the world of a reader. And with that exciting possibility, perhaps the most valuable thing I can do is create the space where the stories of those whom I admire and respect can be shared.

Below are people that I have come across on my own life journey whom I deeply admire and respect. Whether it be their tenacity or courage, or relentless drive or passion, each individual generously reveals a different lens in response to the questions I regularly pepper them with.

As we continue on our sharing over this anthology, I will share tidbits and anecdotes as to why I hold them in such high esteem, and what I love most about them. In turn, I hope that you do too.

Have you experienced burnout? If yes, what have you learned?

There were days where putting one foot in front of the other to come to the office in the morning was almost too much to bear, and when I did get to the office I spent far too long staring at the computer screen not doing much.

Andrea Grisdale, Founder and CEO at IC Bellagio, Board Member at Entrepreneurs’ Organization. Bellagio, Lake Como.

Absolutely yes. I experienced burnout 8 years ago and I remember it well. The biggest “thank goodness” at that time was that I had a coach at the time who helped me navigate what I was experiencing.

I was exhausted, fed up, lacked energy, and was overall in a negative state of mind and being. There were days where putting one foot in front of the other to come to the office in the morning was almost too much to bear, and when I did get to the office I spent far too long staring at the computer screen not doing much.

In spite of this, I felt I could not walk out on my team when we were on an “all systems go” mode in the middle of travel high season despite knowing in my heart of hearts that I needed a break.

Thankfully my coach at the time invited me to look at the situation differently and helped me craft my communication piece to my team, clients, and partners to advise them that after many years building the business, I was now at the point where I could step away from the office for a month to take a much-needed break.

To this day I can still remember how anxious I was hitting the send button.

The reaction I got was amazing. There were so many beautiful emails wishing me a well-earned rest, asking me to promise not to worry, and assuring me that they would go above and beyond to “do me proud” and make sure the business was as great if not better when I returned. And this is exactly what I found.

Taking a month away from emails, traveling, appointments, and feeling like I had to do things was the best thing I ever did. I would never hesitate to do this again should I feel it the right thing to do.

I have since learned to delegate, step away—even a couple of hours earlier than normal—without feeling guilty in any way, and understand that working crazy hours is not the way life is meant to be.

A healthy work-life balance is crucial to my success and my future and that of the business. If I am going to be the leader of the business that I want to be, it’s my responsibility to make sure I show up 100% always, and only I can put myself in a position to make that happen.

A business will always take everything you give it and want more. Set your boundaries and focus on the long game.

Ben Ridler. Founder at RESULTS.com. Auckland, New Zealand.

This is one that I’ve lived and learned from.

Entrepreneurs have appalling health stats. Start a business and expect to shorten your life by 10 years or so. Mental health stats are worse with two-thirds of us having one diagnosed mental health issue and some having 2.

After leaving my last business which was 4 years of major stress, my body shut down, I took time out to recover and learn and was fortunate to be living with a health genius, Dr. Vanessa Ingraham, a lifelong health researcher and born into a medical family. Amongst her many qualifications, she’s a naturopathic doctor with a fellowship in anti-aging and regenerative medicine.

As I got more interested in the health of entrepreneurs and my own health journey, Dr. Ingraham and I extensively researched having a business to support the health of entrepreneurs. The business never launched but as part of it, I completed year-long training as a health coach with the BulletProof Training Institute and as a human potential coach.

I have just turned 50, am in the best physical and mental shape of my life, and am getting ready for the intensity of another global play in the B2B software-as-a-service space. Here are a few of the key learnings in no particular order.

1. Doctors are traditionally sickness experts and not trained in nutrition, supplements, mindfulness, circadian rhythm, etc. Their primary role is to treat symptoms.

2. You need to take responsibility for your own health. No one else can do it.

3. What we do is stressful and you need healthy release valves. Alcohol is not a health release valve and it’s a poison consumed at the levels that we consume it at.

4. The gym won’t affect your weight. It’s what you eat and drink.

5. Fat is not the enemy; sugar is. The recommended food pyramid is bad science and has been long disapproved.

6. Good nutrition and health is a way of thinking. It’s adopting a philosophy and strategy, not tactics or magic pills.

7. Mindfulness is easy to do and easy not to do; like goal setting. It is the most beneficial thing that we can do if we choose to only adopt one new habit.

Most entrepreneurs sacrifice their health for their business then something happens and they are in the hands of the sickness industry. If one is serious about having a long career as an entrepreneur, one needs to learn how to manage stress and find healthy ways to release and take ownership of one’s own health. I’ve seen many of us go by way of heart attack and cancer—both lifestyle diseases—and I’ve done a lot of damage to my health with years of high stress, alcohol, an average diet, and extreme exercise.

Now I train very little, walk a lot, and my weight has been stable for 4 years (it used to fluctuate 10 kgs every year). I don’t diet, I eat amazing food, and I’ve slowly managed to get my hormones back into balance. I’m a biohacker, I track my own medical data, get blood tests done regularly, sauna, and get outside in the sun every day that I can. It’s not rocket science but rather mainly common sense. Look at how people live in blue zones and you’ll get the idea.

Finally, remember that a business will always take everything you give it and want more. Set your boundaries and focus on the long game.

The old adage that if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life, isn’t quite the whole truth. The whole truth is that you’ll never stop working.

Jamie Skella. Chief Operating and Product Officer at Mogul, Former Chief Product Officer at Horizon State. Melbourne, Australia.

The old adage that if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life, isn’t quite the whole truth. The whole truth is that you’ll never stop working.

Yet, indeed, it doesn’t feel like a “job”. These kinds of scenarios have never led me to burnout. My lived burnout experiences have been the result of politics.

There are many good reasons that many entrepreneurs dislike the organizational complexity cliff that occurs at about 30 staff, regret establishing a board, or even wish they’d stayed private. (Elon Musk famously regrets taking Tesla public.)

That’s not to say you shouldn’t do any of these things, but it’s important to go into them understanding what the ultimate costs of this kind of success can be… with the biggest price of all being that it might not remain something you love.

Doing something you don’t genuinely love, a lot is the clearest path to burnout.

A passionate life is like a candle. When it burns, it is so captivating and we are drawn to the flame. It is in that flame that we are captivated and when we focus too much on it, everything else dims in comparison, and yet we draw closer still. If we are not careful, we eventually get too close and we burn ourselves.

Kym Huynh. Founder at WeTeachMe, Former President at Entrepreneurs’ Organization. Melbourne, Australia.

When I share with others what type of life I want to live, I oft state, “I want to live a life that is extraordinary in every sense of that word, and to live life as passionately as one can.” I apply this philosophy to every aspect of my life including entrepreneurship, and at times it has been to my own detriment.

A passionate life is like a candle. When it burns, it is so captivating and we are drawn to the flame. It is in that flame that we are captivated and when we focus too much on it, everything else dims in comparison, and yet we draw closer still. If we are not careful, we eventually get too close and we burn ourselves.

I have learned that passion is very much a tool that we wield. And like all tools they can be wielded to aid us in our goals and pursuits, or they can be wielded incorrectly and hinder or harm us more than it helps us. And so when I look at our I have utilized the tool of passion in my life (or any other tool for that matter), I also look at how I mitigate against its adverse effects. Often, the mitigation is in: (1) rest; and (2) making sure that all 4 areas of my life are balanced; personal, family, business, and community.

I worked weeks with only 2-3 hours of sleep because sleep was a hindrance to my success. Suddenly, I started making mistakes. I was tired during the day, and I struggled to make decisions.

Raymond Chou. Founder and CEO at Infront Consulting APAC. Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Burnout is something I experienced multiple times. To mention the words “multiple” makes me cringe in personal disappointment. Burnout is not fun because we get unmotivated, tired and our ability to think straight is impaired.

I burned out in the moments when I had a string of deadlines and felt that I had the responsibility of getting everything perfectly done. Even if a teammate completed the work, I still needed to be the one to put the cherry on the top and scrutinize the entire cake.

I worked weeks with only 2-3 hours of sleep because sleep was a hindrance to my success. Suddenly, I started making mistakes. I was tired during the day, and I struggled to make decisions. This general lack of productivity lasted weeks. The worst part? I sacrificed my health.

I learned the hard way that life is a marathon and not a sprint. We can push hard but we need to listen to our body and take rests.

I learned to have yin and yang; a balance of life. We work hard but we must also rest. I make sure now I get in a 30-minute high-intensity interval training session or a 5 km jog every day. I take time to read something that grows my mind, and I am diligent with my supplements.

Without health, we can’t do all the things we dream of doing. Health is the center of everything.

It took me a long time to realize that all the stress I felt was of my own design.

Ron Lovett. Founder and Chief Alignment Officer at Connolly Owens, Founder and Chief Community Officer at Vida Living, Author at Outrageous Empowerment. Halifax, Nova Scotia.

I’ve certainly had burnout throughout my entrepreneurial career and it’s taken some time for me to reflect on why.

I experience most of my burnout during the time I owned a private physical security company.

Back then I was an entrepreneur with all the answers. Thinking you have all the answers causes everyone around you to ask lots of questions. As I starting to build the business, it was very challenging to keep up with the demands of those around me combined with wearing multiple hats in the business. It took me a long time to realize that all the stress I felt was of my own design.

The point of burnout and escalating business challenges forced me to allow others to have the autonomy to answer their own questions. This culture transformation was the first step and allowed me to step back from the day-to-day so that I could move to a different role of guidance and strategy. That was a journey in of itself and for another time. However, I can tell you that I’ve never looked back nor experienced burnout since getting the company culture right.

To me, business is a game that is meant to be enjoyed, and it is a game that I learned to play as a child, and that enjoyment has never left me.

Tony Falkenstein. Founder and CEO at Just Life Group Limited, Founder and CEO at Just Water, President at Entrepreneurs’ Organization. Auckland, New Zealand.

To me, business is a game that is meant to be enjoyed, and it is a game that I learned to play as a child, and that enjoyment has never left me. The circumstances have changed, but so they changed when I went from the sandpit to play snakes and ladders, from riding my bike to playing Monopoly, or from crossword puzzles to computer games.

I often wonder how people can burn out from business; it is just playing a game. However, I do understand that we are not all born the same way. I personally don’t need a holiday, as my work is like being on holiday. I recognize that most others don’t operate the same way, as they play the game too intensely and emotionally.

What do you think?

Do you agree or violently disagree with anything shared in this article? Or do you have any of your own stories that you want to share? Pop them in the comments and I will personally reply.

Call to action 

My goal is to help 1,000,000 people. My wish is to have these articles shared 1,000,000 times through the various social networks. For this reason, I provide this collection online for free and all I ask of you is this: If any of these articles have helped you in any way, please take a moment to share on social media, email to someone you think will find benefit, or print and leave it on the desk of someone whom you believe has the motivation, but lacks the tools to take themselves to the next level.

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